Ronnie likes Rowntrees

I found the mums almost two fat-moon times ago and I have hardly grown at all. Even when I bigger my hair up, the other cats just laugh at me.
So I eat and I eat, and I eat. Anything and everything. I like bread and chocolate and bananas and chips and - well - everything. I even stealed one of Bigmums fruit pastilles and would had eaten it even though it sticked my teeth but Littlemum pulled it out of my mouth.
I am fast and I am clever.
Every time the Mums put their hands close to the ground, I pounce and claw their hands and fingers in case they have food.
When they lift their hands and go ouch, I dig my claws in harder and try to climb up their arms. And when they go close to the Hambox I climb right up their bodies.
The Mums dont think any of this is clever and try to pull me off but I hold on as hard as I can. 'Ronnie, stop that,' they say. 'Ouuuuch' and they put me outside and make me cry cos I'm only little and I only want to grow.
I leave pretty red spots and lines on the Mums skin where my claws have been, but the Mums dont like it.
They say that the only thing that has grown is my claws and that they should have called me Slasher.
I did make Littlemum smile the other day though. She got a big bunch of leaves out of the Hambox to make her food. One big leaf, well - bigger than me, anyway, fell to the floor. Immediatly I sprang into action, killing it and munching on it. 'Oh Ronnie' she laughed - you can't eat lettuce. But I can, and I did.
When she told Bigmum, Bigmum said 'Ha, lettuce prey'. And Litttlemum groaned.

Lenny? Who's Lenny?

I was down at the bins the other night, minding me own business, looking for a bit of supper, when along came a girl. With a dog on a string and a bag full of rubbish.
The girl said 'hello Lenny' what are you doing down here?' and she bent down to stroke me. Lenny? who's Lenny I thinked. I looked around but there was no one else, and the stroking felt so nice it made me go prrou prrou.
'Come on Lenny, come home with me, you shouldn't be down here anyway,' said the girl, and she picked me up and took me up the road and through a gate and into an insidey place.
I got a bit scared and biggered all my hair and tail up and screamed as hard as I could! 'What on earth is wrong Len-len?', said the girl.
Then her eyes moved a lot. She looked at me, and then another cat who looks just like me, who starter to bigger his hair up too. She looked at me, looked at him, and back at me and back at him again.
And she looked very surprised. 'Oh, you're not Lenny!', girl said. I never said I was! And the other little black cat looked at me as if to say 'who are you', and I looked at him to say "I dont know!' and the girl kept looking at both of us.
So I screamed and shouted even more, at Lenny and at all the other cats who came to see what all the fuss was about.
I screamed and shouted and biggered myself up for two daytimes and and two darktimes, and the girl, called Littlemum, and the lady wiv eye windows who is called Bigmum, said I could go and be an outsidey again, or I could stay and be called Fury or Ruari.
But if I want to stay, I need to stop shouting.
So I dont shout so much except when I am stuck in the tree, and I do my prou prou noise a lot and it makes the Mums smile.
Bigmum gets confused between me and Lennie so she calls both called Lenny-Ruari or Ruari-Lenny. Bigmum says its becuase she's got old age disease that she can't easily tell the difference between the cats she calls twinnies, so she calls Oscar and Emily The Scremmilies.
They are big big mountain cats and Emily keeps snarling at me and saying 'your names not down, you're not coming in'.
But I am in. And I am staying. And my name is Ruari.

Rupert

Since I got hurt, there has been nothing but sickenss in the house, I think they all want to be special, like me. There are 4 kitlings with bad eyes, and Poppy kitling keeps coughing and sneezing and cant breathe properly. Her brother Lenny is poorly too.
And Ronnie and Roxie are not much better either.
But I have strong suspicions about young Poppy. Whilst I do see that she is sneezy and sickly, she has also got a bad leg - the same back leg as me...It doesnt seem to hurt her though.
Littlemum says it's where Shoutyman stuck her with a thing to put the medicine under her fur becuase she was so sick.
I think she's copying me though. When the mums go to the ham-box we can still get there as fast as the other cats. And Bigmum laughs and says if this carries on, we should start the Cat Olimpit Games.

Baked Bean

Every day the sun shines and every day its hot. And I am a baked Bean. The wind comes big from the mountains and blows everything around and makes us feel cooler. But the nights, they are cold. And I am a chilly Bean and I snuggle close to the kitlings to keep warm. At this time, hot-time, kalokeri, the mums usually have the spinny things on the ceilings to make the air cool. But the wind from the mountain is enough on these days.
And at dark time, when the mums sleep, they usually take their skins off and sleep uncovered, but last night Bigmum put a different skin on for her sleeping. She never did this before until the rain-time and leaf-fall comes.
I am glad I dont have to change my skins like that. We cats are far more clever. When the hot-time comes, we simply drop some of our hair to float prettily around the house and the when the cool time comes we grow it back again. Why don't the mums do that I wonder. Some times we think that Humum beans are very stupid...

Ressurection - Charlie

I was just out walking tonight, when the mums came home. Littlemum shouted 'Mum, it's Charlie! Well you wouldn't believe the fuss! Instant street party!
They picked me up and hugged me, and their faces did that wet thing that they normally do when the cats go still and they take them to the beach. But they were happy. They said my name over and over and smiled and laughed, and Bigmum ran inside and bought out food, mostly for me but some for my outsidey acquaintances too.
There was Impay, and Rita-from-Brazil-where-the-Nuts-come from, some Georges, Mummycat and Furious Muriel and we all had some food.
The mums were jumping up and down and saying my name over and over and that they were so glad to see me so they could truly believe it was not me in the murder movie.I don't know what they mean. I have been away for two fat moon-times, about 50 or so human days, but what do they expect? I am special. Unique. I was the first (and best) Kitling. The only Charlie-bear. And I should be treated just so.
I chose to live with them when they only had a few cats, and I was the special baby. I used to snuggle up with Littlemum and go for long walks with her and Dog. But then things changed. More and more cats came to live, and kitlings got borned. And I didn't like it one bit. I hate them all. I come to call just sometimes, and rub my scent on the Mums' legs' but I refuse to go inside the gate or let them cuddle me for long, and I slash and I growl to show my total displeasure that they haven't got rid of all the others yet.
So now, especially in these warm-times, I stay away, just letting them see me now and again, just for a little touch, to make them realise how much they miss me. I might consider visiting them more often if they do a street party like that each time. When the cold-time comes, maybe I will go inside the house and look gorgeous in front of the fire and let Littlemum snuggle me again. Just maybe...

Ruperts toof

I REALLY have had enough now. Littlemum took me to the cat doctor again today. I made my sadliest noise and shook all over, but Littlemum said its for my own good. I think good is staying home on my favourite cushion with nice food. Going in the box in the car, then having my bad leg pulled and prodded is not good. At all.
While we were there, Littlemum told Catdoctor to look in my mouth. She looked in, then they held me tight and pulled out one of my toofs! It was a shock, I can tell you.
But when we got home, Littlemum gave me a bowl of lovely food and I can still eat fast even with no toof. And eating is my very bestest thing to do.
But I hope all my hurtings go away soon, I miss being with my outsidey freinds pretending to be starving and waiting for the fish man in the van calling his psaria song really loud.
Ronnie is really getting on my nervoussness. If he doesnt stop annoying me I'm gonna beat him up.
If I can stand up long enough.

Poorly us! Rupert

Ok, so I feel ok after the cool medicine, but I still cant walk properly and it still hurts. And Ronnie is getting pinker and more bald, and him and Roxy are still sneezing.
Furious Muriel and Lenny and Filly keep running inside the house whenever the mums go in and out, they all want ham. Its making the mums shout because they nearly fall over, and cant get to the ham-box (they call it a fridge) without all the family following them and meowling and trying to jump inside.
But only us poorlies are getting such treats. I tried to explain this to Paddy the other day, but he beat me up. So I am keeping myself to myself.
I don't want to be shouted at, beaten up, or trodden on. And NO, Ronnie, I DON'T WANT TO PLAY.

Roxy

Today Littlemum got hold of me and wiped cool wet stuff on my eye. And then she did the same to Ronnie. Both of us have a stucked left eye. and Bigmum says that even though me and Ron are great chums, we are not seeing eye to eye right now. She laughs loudly and Littlemum throws herself down on the sofa and groans and smiles a little smile.

Flu atchooooooooooo. Ronnie

My eye is sore and I keep sneezing. And sneezing and sneezing. So much that I fall over. Bigmum says 'Atchoo Ron Ron Ron, atchoo Ron Ron - have you got swine flu?' Littlemum says thats not funny and that maybe I have cat flu.
Littlemum says she will give me some medicine. But she gives me ham instead. Maybe she made a mistake. But it sure makes me feel better. Bigmum says 'I hope you haven't got the flu Ron Ron Ron, the flu Ron Ron' and Littlemum growls and says if she'd known about the Ron Ron song, she'd have found me another name...

Princess

Huh. Rupert knows nothing about the world. He is a mere whippersnapper, too young and vain to know much at all. Though, kitten or cat, they are all young upstarts in one way or another, in comparison to me.
But I am the Princess.
Grand Dame. Matriarch of this family and watcher over all.
And I know many things.
At 88 cat years, I am very likely the oldest cat in Eressos, perhaps even Lesvos.
Extensively travelled, worldly wise and deeply perceptive, I know the mums better than anyone.
I have watched Littlemum grow from a childling to a young woman. And Bigmum has grown too. Fatter and 17 human years older.
But I digress.
I heard Bigmum and Littlemum talking. They forget that I can understand.
And only I know why the mums have had sad bad feelings across these recent times. And why they try to count us at every meal-time. And why they worry and call if any are missing for very long.
I know that it not just cars and poison and stoning that hurts the cats, or makes them disappear.
The mums have been feeling deeply sad and dark inside their hearts because of what the bad boy did to one of us. One of our ‘disappeared’ has not disappeared. He has come back to haunt the boy who did such an unspeakably bad thing.
The mums said the story of the Eressos Cat Murder is all over the world. People have seen pictures of the terrible murder of one of the local Georges (all the red and white outsideys are called George), on that Puter thing that the mums sit in front of so much.
And the sadness is not only for what happened to George, but that they have lived close to, and known and liked the bad boy since he was a childling. They thought he was one of the good ones. And now things have changed forever in their hearts and they are sad that the liking and the trusting has gone.
And we hope that George will haunt him and all the bad boys for a long time to come.
Though they probably will take no notice, I will warn all the family not to trust outsidey people, but I will spare them the details.
I shall not venture outside the garden wall - I never have, and I will continue to purvey all around me from the balcony, where I know I will be safe.